Match Preview: Bolton Wanderers v Wigan Pies

Wanderers face tough opposition this weekend, even though they're not a real club

Bolton Wanderers welcome near neighbours and our absolute sporting inferiors Wigan Athletic to the Reebok Stadium on Saturday in yet another vital Championship fixture.

Now, because Wigan have zero history and are basically a new-starter club given a kick up the arse by a gobshite ex-Blackburn Rovers broken-leg victim (though he doesn't like to go on about that), this fixture only dates back to 1983 which, as I'm sure you all know, is the year of my birth. That first game, back on Boxing Day, ended up with a 1-0 win for Bolton.

Over the years, we have faced one another on numerous occasions, indeed Saturday's game is the 42nd between the clubs. Surprisingly, Wigan lead the way with 16 wins to our 15, though Bolton's own Julian Darby remains the top scorer between the two sides on four goals.

Wigan began the 2013/14 Championship season with former Bolton manager Owen Coyle at the helm. Not for the first time, Wigan looked at their bigger, better rivals down the road and picked an ex-Bolton guy to take them forward. However, in a manner befitting their tin-pot, two bob nature, they chose poorly and Coyle was a disaster. Sacked by December following a hilarious run of form that saw the one-time Premier League outfit and present Europa League candidates struggling in mid-table. Oh how we laughed.

Then, Dave Whelan, purveyor of shit tracksuits and overpriced trainers, appointed former Manchester City striker Uwe Rösler as Coyle's replacement. Since then, Wigan have found form (including a lucky FA Cup win over City Reserves), and find themselves in fifth place - although they endured a humiliating Europa League run which ended with three straight defeats to Rubin Kazan, Zulte Waregem and NK Maribor to finish bottom of their group.

Team

Pld

W

D

L

GF

GA

GD

Pts

Russia Rubin Kazan

6

4

2

0

14

4

+10

14

Slovenia Maribor

6

2

1

3

9

12

-3

7

Belgium Zulte Waregem

6

2

1

3

4

10

-6

7

England Wigan Athletic

6

1

2

3

6

7

-1

5

Hilarious.

Wigan are currently on a good run of form, indeed they haven't lost since February, and will provide stern opposition to Dougie Freedman and his band of merry men and Chris Eagles.

Despite the millions ploughed into his own little fiefdom, Emperor Gobshite Whelan finds his team struggling for goals. On-loan Manchester United midfielder Nick Powell leads the way for Wigan on a meagre six goals, joint with Spaniard Jordi Gómez.

Coyle and his replacement have overseen a huge reinforcement of the playing staff, FFP be damned, and this is just further evidence of their willingness to cheat the system and generally be pretty despicable, including loan in half of the western world to aid their promotion prospects, the shits:

In

Summer

Player

From

Fee

Date

Republic of Ireland Chris McCann

England Burnley

Free

27 June 2013

Scotland Stephen Crainey

England Blackpool

Free

28 June 2013

Norway Thomas Rogne

Scotland Celtic

Free

1 July 2013

England James Perch

England Newcastle United

£500,000

2 July 2013

England Scott Carson

Turkey Bursaspor

£750,000

4 July 2013

France Marc-Antoine Fortuné

England West Bromwich Albion

Free

5 July 2013

England Grant Holt

England Norwich

£1.5m

8 July 2013

Honduras Juan Carlos García

Honduras C.D. Olimpia

Free

26 July 2013

England Leon Barnett

England Norwich

£500,000

1 August 2013

Republic of Ireland James McClean

England Sunderland

£1.5m

8 August 2013

England Nick Powell

England Manchester United

Loan

2 September 2013

England Ryan Shotton

England Stoke City

Loan

2 September 2013

England Marc Albrighton

England Aston Villa

Loan

30 October 2013

England Will Keane

England Manchester United

Loan

28 November 2013

Winter

Player

From

Fee

Date

England Tyias Browning

England Everton

Loan

10 January 2014

England Nicky Maynard

Wales Cardiff City

Loan

16 January 2014

England Josh McEachran

England Chelsea

Loan

23 January 2014

England Martyn Waghorn

England Leicester City

Loan

31 January 2014

Sweden Markus Holgersson

United States New York Red Bulls

Free Transfer

5 February 2014

England Ryan Tunnicliffe

England Fulham

Loan

25 February 2014

Wales Jack Collison

England West Ham United

Loan

18 March 2014

Out

Summer

Player

Transferred To

Fee

Date

England Peter Aylmer

N/A

Free transfer

7 June 2013

England Jonathan Lynch

N/A

Free transfer

7 June 2013

England Callum Morris

N/A

Free transfer

7 June 2013

England Joshua Sumner

N/A

Free transfer

7 June 2013

England Ryan Watson

N/A

Free transfer

7 June 2013

Spain Albert Crusat

N/A

Free transfer

7 June 2013

England David Jones

England Burnley

Free transfer

7 June 2013

Spain Adrián López

Canada Montreal Impact

Free transfer

7 June 2013

Slovakia Filip Oršula

GermanyMSV Duisburg

Free transfer

7 June 2013

Netherlands Ronnie Stam

Belgium Standard Liège

Free transfer

7 June 2013

Spain Román Golobart

GermanyFC Köln

Free transfer

14 June 2013

Honduras Maynor Figueroa

EnglandHull City

Free transfer

17 June 2013

Argentina Mauro Boselli

Mexico León

£1m

28 June 2013

Ivory Coast Arouna Kone

England Everton

£5m

8 July 2013

Paraguay Antolin Alcaraz

England Everton

Free transfer

9 July 2013

Argentina Franco Di Santo

Germany Werder Bremen

Free transfer

14 August 2013

England Mike Pollitt

England Barnsley

Loan

27 August 2013

Republic of Ireland James McCarthy

England Everton

£13m

2 September 2013

England Jordan Mustoe

England Bury

Loan

1 October 2013

Republic of Ireland Rob Kiernan

England Southend

Loan

12 October 2013

Scotland Fraser Fyvie

England Yeovil

Loan

17 October 2013

France Nouha Dicko

England Rotherham

Loan

20 November 2013

Winter

Player

Transferred To

Fee

Date

England Adam Buxton

England Burton Albion

Loan

3 January 2014

France Nouha Dicko

England Wolverhampton Wanderers

undisclosed

13 January 2014

England Grant Holt

England Aston Villa

Loan

14 January 2014

England Jordan Mustoe

England Wycombe Wanderers

Loan

17 January 2014

So, not only are we facing a tough opposition, but we are also facing an evil empire, and we cannot let them prevail. Not when they are clearly such absolute bastards.

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