Pre-season training starts today, and I am sure that you, much like me, are overjoyed as this brings us one step closer to the regular season. I imagine that the players and coaching staff are even more excited to get back to it, if only because they can share the wild stories of their summer holidays with the rest of the class. They've got a lot of catching up to do! While we may not know, per se, what the players have been up to, we've thrown together a few educated guesses.
Kevin Davies: practicing his slide tackling on his donkeys, scheming ways to raise money for Kids of Bolton (tackle donkey to raise money?)
Fabrice Muamba: playing in the U21 Euro's, weeping and eating Haagen Dazs after losing in the U21 Euro's
Zat Knight: shopping with Stu's sister, not shopping with Stu's sister, wondering whether he should get a “Almost Tallest Man to Play for England” plaque (it would look great between those two caps)
Ivan Klasnic: making questionable sartorial decisions, getting awards for them
Mark Davies: deciding which nickname he likes more: Mavies or Sparky, thinking of new nicknames (would El Davinho catch on? that's cool right?)
Owen Coyle: planning pranks (have I done the clingfilm on the toilet one yet?), playing Football Manager as Bolton so he can pretend he can actually buy players
Gary Cahill: packing, ringing movers, checking listings in Manchester, no London, no Manchester, waiting by the phone, Wenger promised he'd call back.
Robbie Blake: who are we kidding? His season is the same as his off season
Do you think I missed anyone out? Be sure to add your own off-season stories below!