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The Bolton Wanderers - Crystal Palace Player Comparison

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If I had to describe the list below in three letters, they would simply be "lol." Now, this list isn't completely hilarious, there are a few decent points in there, but there are quite a few that are laugh-out-loud funny.

Warren Little

Some of you may have seen this bit of magic floating around Twitter this afternoon. It was found on the CPFC BBS (full thread here) and is, in short, on user's comparison of Bolton players to their counterparts at Crystal Palace. Basically, this is part of an ongoing internal debate amongst Palace fans that feel hard done, let down, or disappointed by Dougie Freedman's move to Bolton Wanderers.

This is the full list:

Bogdan, Adam Goalkeeper Speroni is better for me
Mears, Tyrone Defender Joel Ward, jury still out but wouldnt say Mears is better
Alonso, Marcos Defender Jon Parr, International are far better
Mills, Matt Defender Paddy McCarthy, Mills very prone to mistakes, again for me Paddy the better defender
Ream, Tim Defender Damien Delaney, Delaney solid and consistent, Ream struggled to adapt to the game, so again Delaney wins for me
Eagles, Chris Midfielder Wilf Zaha, both players are probably the best players in their squad, but again Zaha so much better
Andrews, Keith Midfielder Mile Jedinak, probably the toughest to separate, so call that a draw
Ngog, David Striker Probably compare him to Jermaine Easter, although N'Gog cost them £3 million virtually!
Petrov, Martin Midfielder Andre Moritz, Given age and quality, Moritz better for me
Wylde, Gregg Defender Darcy Blake, again Blake the better, can play in a number of positions and solid.
Knight, Zat Defender Peter Ramage, as we saw earlier in the season knight was run ragged by Zaha, so close one to call with these 2.
Davies, Kevin Striker Glenn Murray, close again, but given ages, Glenn for me
Davies, Mark Midfielder KG, possibly one where Mark Davies just egdes it.
Afobe, Benik Striker only other striker we have is Wilbraham and completely different style of players.
Ricketts, Samuel Defender Dean Moxey, again for me better player
Sordell, Marvin Striker see Afobe
Spearing, Jay Midfielder Owen Garvan, Spearing for me is awful so Owen wins
Pratley, Darren Midfielder Stuart O'Keefe, given the experience Pratley egdes this.
Holden, Stuart Midfielder Jon Williams - no contest really, Willaims by far
Lonergan, Andy Goalkeeper Lewis Price, probably an even contest again
Vela, Joshua Midfielder David Wright,dont knoiw much about the Bolton player so hard to call
Lee, Chung-Yong Midfielder Yannick Bolasie, has impressed me since he joined, Lee apparently struggles with the tempo so Yannick for me.
Wheater, David Defender Danny Gabbidon, yet to see him play but from previous, Gabbidon far superior for me.

These are our highlights:

  1. Jonathan Williams is better than Stuart Holden. Right. Maybe in the current state where one is injured but before Holden was hurt, he was one of the best central midfielders in the Premiership. Yes, Williams shows talent and a very bright future but to say that he's better than Stuart Holden is absolute madness.
  2. Yannick Bolasie is better than Chung-Yong Lee. Excuse me for a second while I wipe off my monitor after spitting out my drink. Again, prior to getting hurt, Chung-Yong Lee was a world-beater and has not had much of a chance to find form since, having to sit on the sidelines under Owen Coyle. When he came on against Bristol City, he showed a lot of his old self and was instrumental in finding the game-winning goal.
  3. Andre Moritz is better than Martin Petrov. On his day (and the last two matches have been the definition of his day), Petrov is one of the better wingers in the league. He was barely given a chance under Owen Coyle and is now showing just how hungry (and good) he is with Jimmy Phillips in charge.
  4. Danny Gabbidon is "far superior" to David Wheater. Lolz. So many lolz. This is the Danny Gabbidon whose one contribution against Bolton in QPR's first match last year was an own goal. The same Danny Gabbidon that is eight years' Wheater's senior. I guess David's knee is still a bit crocked at the moment but at this point in time, I'd argue he'd put up a fight in his current state.
  5. Darcy Blake is better than Gregg Wylde. Who knows, this one might be true. Wylde is a completely unknown quantity in a Bolton uniform.
  6. Owen Garvan is better than Jay Spearing. "Spearing for me is awful so Owen wins." Literally killing me. My goodness!
The list goes on and on. My glasses may be tinted a little bit white but at least they're not blocked out in red and blue like the poster's. My word, I had to cut myself off from getting carried away. What do you think though, are there any points that you agree with? Any that you find absolutely hilarious?