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SPECIAL REPORT: MK Dons v Man Utd :Capital One Cup

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Couldn't resist.

Clive Mason

The new Manchester United.

Appears they're a lot like the old Manchester United.

Playing in the League Cup second round for the first time in 19 years, United were mauled by an energetic and clinical performance from the side two divisions below them, who were playing in front of the biggest crowd in their 10-year history.

Four-times winners United did not register a shot on target until the 72nd minute against the team who were only founded in 2004.

It was fucking funny.

Danny Welbeck, Jonny Evans and David de Gea were the most recognisable names, but they were all absymal without exception.

In Louis van Gaal's defence, he did pick a load of no-mark kids including that Keane lad, and some dude from Belgium. Also selected a lad called Janko who gave us many a cheer throughout the evening with his somewhat Bolton Wanderers-esque defending.

Oh course the mighty BWFC and their erstwhile boss Dougie Freedman are through to the next round, but we'll not be playing United.

They're so shit even Benik Afobe scored, and we know how bobbins he is.