So I finally sampled the local football of Sheffield last night, as I went to watch the worst team in the universe, the destroyer of accumulators, Sheffield United, as they faced Gretar Steinsson's Fleetwood Town.
To loosely tie this back to Bolton Wanderers and make it seem a little relevant, I'll talk about how I watched former White Chris Basham, who is know the captain of the Blades(!), play.
Despite having a stadium that looks as if it's stuck in 1985 it was actually an enjoyable experience at Bramall Lane. Although I could never really focus on the football being played in front of me when I knew that somewhere in the world Wanderers were being shit.
Yes, the evening started off with several nice little surprises. The first of which being is that there's an ace sandwich shop literally just outside Bramall Lane and the pulled pork butty was lovely. The next surprise, one that wasn't quite as nice or tasty, is that Sheffield United now play in all white shirts. Errr since when?!?!
Finally, and the best surprise of all, was that Blades fans sing a song to the tune of 'Annie's Song' which sounded bloody brilliant. It instantly lifted the spirits of the 17,000 United fans in attendance and it's how a proper 'club anthem' should be.
Upon further research I found the lyrics, which are also great. It's called 'The Greasy Chip Butty Song':
You Fill Up My Senses,
Like A Gallon Of Magnet,
Like A Packet Of Woodbines,
Like A Good Pinch Of Snuff,
Like A Night Out In Sheffield,
Like A Greasy Chip Butty,
Like Sheffield United,
Come Fill Me Again,
Na Na Na Na Na...OOOOHH!
The game kicked off and with in a minute United were ahead. Our mate Chris Basham received the ball towards the left of the box and his cross was fumbled by Fleetwood's goalkeeper before young prodigy, Che Adams, controlled and poked home.
A goal within a minute had me thinking that Sheffield United might not be so bad after all. I was quite wrong.
Despite having a team of very recognisable names such as: Jamal Campbell-Ryce, Billy Sharp and Dean Hammond, with the likes of Jose Baxter, Conor Sammon, Paul Coutts and Martyn Woolford on the bench, they were appalling in the first half.
After going ahead the Blades couldn't get a foot on the ball. Fleetwood were pressing extremely well and not letting the Sheffield side leave their own half. The Cod Army couldn't create any clear cut chances through their relentless pressure, but the home crowd were growing increasingly frustrated.
I must say, I've never been in a stadium before when the home team has been winning but still got booed. Until last night.
Saying that, I still don't think I've met a person native of Sheffield over the age of 23 who hasn't been miserable af yet. So that may explain it.
Just remember, at the time of watching this dire match of football I read the news that Bolton had gone behind to a Paul fucking Robinson goal. Wasn't in a good space.
Thankfully, United really got their acts together in the second half and began to play some good football, eventually steamrolling Fleetwood.
Adams, who seems like the real deal, was at the heart of everything and it was him who notched the second goal of the game.
It seemed like the Blades were toying with Fleetwood as they had about three golden chances to double their lead before they actually did. In the end, a cross was dreadfully defended first by Stoke City's Dionathan Teixeira and then by then by the atrocious Amari'i Bell, leaving Adams with ample space to volley past the hapless 'keeper.
There wasn't long to wait until United added a third goal. They were very dominating proceedings at this point, with Fleetwood now being the ones who couldn't get their foot on the ball.
Chris Basham was once again heavily involved in the goal, he slid the ball to the advancing left back who put in another decent cross that was again horrendously defended, and Billy Sharp was on hand to punish them and tap the ball home.
3-0 it was and 3-0 it finished, with the only other things worthy of note was a sitter Fleetwood missed and Jose Baxter still being alive.
Our mate Chris Basham is doing well for himself, playing in the heart of midfield and wearing the armband, he puts himself about and wins the ball back a lot, and is even influential going forward too. Who'd have thought?
It wasn't the best game ever, but at least I saw some goals for the team I was supporting, more than you lot can say!
If there's one thing I learned from my first football match in Sheffield it's that League One is absolutely grim and we must avoid it at all costs.