Not because I hate them all - because I don't - just mainly because I don't want to.
Instead, I am going to give the prize to you - the long-suffering Bolton Wanderers supporter.
Why oh why would you put yourselves through this crap on such a regular basis? Not to mention those who travel away - you're the real heroes/idiots out there - but to see that kind of tripe and STILL come back every week makes you a special kind of insane.
The players offered no fight. The management offered no leadership. The club's top brass seemingly aren't able to offer Neil Lennon a pot to piss in.
So they can piss off.
Instead the fans deserve the MOTM champagne. There should be enough for a sip each. It may be a long time til we taste it again.
Football is stupid.