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Bolton Wanderers Halloween XI


It's Halloween, that holiday which no one actually likes - it's just an excuse for kids to stuff their faces and for everyone else to get pissed AND look like a dickhead without feeling ashamed for it.

But it's here never the less, and if the wandering street monsters and Bolton Wanderers losing to Preston wasn't scary enough for you, I'm now going to stuff a load of really dreadful puns down your throat.

This way you really are going to want to scream in horror and wish you were dead.

I must thank my Lion of Vienna colleagues for their contributions to this wonderful team too.

So without further ado, here's a Wanderers Halloween XI:

Kevin Poole of Blood - What he will become before he stops playing football.

Danny Cloverfield - as if Danny Butterfield, AKA the worst player ever, wasn't scary enough! I particularly like how butter was replaced by Clover here. It works on so many levels.

Bat Fright - This is working on so many levels.

Bruno N'Gotty any sweets in, sorry - This is easily my favourite and I have no shame in the slightest.

Tim Scream - Exactly what I did when I found out he was leaving.

Kayne Ghoulery - He was like a ghoul when he came on again Birmingham - nonexistent.

Fabrice Booamba - Mustn't. Make. Really. Obvious. But. Very. Tasteless. Joke.

Owen Garvan - I can't think of anything else and he was fucking shit, alright?

Martin Petrov-fied - You've just read that one and thought: "actually, that isn't too bad"

Fabian de Frightus - Did he ever so such a thing?

Lukas Spookiewicz - I have nothing witty to add. Just come home Lukas.

Substitues - Yes, I went this far.

Adam Bogeyman - He might actually be y'know, being ginger and all...

David TrickOrTreater - Usually tricks from that banter merchant.

Gretar FrankenSteinsson - The monster would probably have a better sense of positioning tbf.

Scott 'dead bodies in the' Sellars - Also a personal favourite of mine.

George OGREhani - Shrek is love.

Fredi Apple Bobic - The only time of year people from Wigan put fruit in their mouths.

Nat Lofthouse of Horrors - Classic.

Got any better puns to add? Please share them below!