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Five Things: Ipswich 2-0 Bolton Wanderers

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I went to Portman Road last night, and to be honest, I'm still tired from the journey home, so let's get to it.

1) Dorian Fucking Dervite


I don't even know where to start with this guy. Off the top of my head I can't even think of a handful of games where he's played well, and last night was no different. He looks awkward on the ball, almost as if he'd rather we played with 10 men just so no one can blame him when he inevitably cocks something up. I have seen him play with confidence on a few occasions, but it looks as though whatever morsels of it remained have now been absorbed into our treatment table. From this day forward, he shall be known as King Shithouse.

2) Long Balls Aren't What We Need


Here's a fact for you: Gary Madine doesn't win many headers; especially against a back four like Ipswich's. Why we spent 80 minutes of last night's game pinging balls forward to the lad, I'll never know. On the odd occasion he does with a header, there's no-one there for him to knock the ball down to because they're all either: A) Looking at one another and expecting someone else to do their job for them, or B) Not wanting to go forward in case we lose possession and inevitably concede again.

3) The Curse Of The Counter Attack


Both of The Tractor Boys' goals last night came from us losing the ball on the edge of their penalty area. We couldn't cope with Daryl Murphy and Brett Pitman up top, not to mention countless others in the home side's line-up that are capable of attacking with both pace and power. The out-passed us, out-muscled us and generally out-played us. Expect their season to kick on from here because they're a bit like the Championship's Chelsea at the moment. How do we defend counter attacks better? I don't know, but since Johan Mjällby left us we've conceded more silly goals than I care to mention. Just sayin'.

4) Liam Feeney Needs A Rest


I do feel sorry for the Feen Dog. He plays a hell of a lot of games in various positions and genuinely does try his hardest, but it very rarely pays off for him. He also cannot cross a ball - I genuinely believe he doesn't know how to. In my opinion he needs a rest, and I'd rather see him out of the squad before Christmas, replaced by someone like Kaiyne Woolery for a few games, before we play three games in a week at the back end of December and someone in Nat Lofthouse lower coins him. Go to bed, Liam.

5) Full Backs That Don't Play At Full Back


Now, I'm well aware how difficult decent attacking players are to come by when you're a bottom-half Championship club, but why we signed so many in summer is beyond me. I know it's good to have cover, but what's the point in having said provisions in place when we use players from other positions at full back instead? Prince, a centre half, went off at half time last night to be replaced by Derik, another centre half. Am I being stupid, or does that seem a bit backwards? Let's hope a natural full back gets a run out on Saturday, otherwise you'll most certainly be hearing from me again.