It's safe to say that writing a review of Bolton Wanderers' strikers this season is about as relaxing and pleasurable as my first horror movie experience, watching Silence of the Lambs followed by The X Files: Tunguska as a 10-year-old child.
Wanderers' eight striking options are best left for the scripts of horror movie writers, amassing an abysmal total of just 22 goals in a combined 116 appearances in all competitions this season. And our highest scorer only joined in January.
Here is our season review of the Trotters strikers this season.
The Good: The fact that he has at long last buggered off to pastures new, hopefully either rotting in League One where he belongs or be equally crap with a new contract at Preston.
The Bad: Where should I start? ZERO goals in 13 league appearances. He only scored two goals in 16 appearances in all competitions, both of which were against Crewe Alexandra in the League Cup, and he was then dropped to the bench again for the next league match by Dougie. Then having the audacity to make idiotic Sky Sports presenters think he's any good by becoming only the third player to score a play-off final hat-trick at Wembley - after we had free transferred him.
The Ugly: Waving to the scum Leeds fans when he came on as a sub. Adios Jermaine.
What Does Next Season Hold? League One. Or scoring a winner for Preston at the Macron.
2014/15 Rating: 0/10
The Good: Scoring two absolute screamers against Sheffield Wednesday. Where did that come from? Cravies had a spell in the side where he was unplayable but like too many of our strikers down the years, he's all about hard work rather than goalscoring.
The Bad: Recurrent hamstring injuries that made Diego Costa look like an ever-present.
The Ugly: 7 goals in 42 matches in all competitions, including those two goals against Wednesday. That game aside, 5 goals in 41 matches. As a striker. Although he was somehow still our second highest goalscorer of the season.
What Does Next Season Hold? League One, or a campaign in the treatment room resting his hamstrings.
2014/15 Rating: 6/10
The Good: I think he scored a goal for Bury? To be fair, he only made the solitarily appearance for the Whites last season.
The Bad: He's still crap. And, much to my surprise, he's 23, so far from a promising youngster.
The Ugly: He didn't make a single appearance all season, and he'll never play for us.
What Does Next Season Hold? League Two on loan, if he's lucky. Or if our current striker debacle continues, helping us try to avoid relegation. He's entering the last year of his contract, so he has something to prove.
2014/15 Rating: 1/10
The Good: That debut goal against Blackburn Rovers, which is probably my favourite / funniest moment of the season. Let's all laugh at Blackburn. And aside from his dreadful goalscoring record, he was a beast.
The Bad: When he kicked Darren Pratley in the head. And his terrible shooting ability.
The Ugly: One goal in... wait for it... 23 appearances. And that was on his debut. Zero goals in 22 appearances after his debut.
What Does Next Season Hold? Player/Coach at the Macron. And trying to beat this season's mighty impressive goal tally.
2014/15 Rating: 7/10 (1/10 for goals)
*Adam Le Fondre
The Good: Being an absolute God in front of goal whenever we created chances for him. Le Fondre only joined the club in January, yet he went on to become our top scorer and contributed more than two thirds of goals scored by our strikers, finding the net 8 times in 18 games.
The Bad: Being isolated far too often by our crappy tactics, and not creating enough chances for him.
The Ugly: Him going back to Cardiff? I'd have him back at the club in a heartbeat if we could afford him.
What Does Next Season Hold? Who knows. Cardiff don't seem to want him, yet their asking price could push Wanderers out of the market. Likely to have no end of offers from Championship clubs if he is to be sold.
2014/15 Rating: 8/10
The Good: Scoring Bolton's first hat-trick in 12 years against Rotherham, since Fredi Bobic notched three in a game back in April 2002.
The Bad: Doing bugger all else except that hat-trick, he scored 4 goals in 14 matches - 1 in 13 with the exception of that Rotherham game.
The Ugly: Dougie deciding Joe Mason was suddenly the best thing since sliced bread, claiming: "In my opinion Joe will always get you a fair share of goals." Erm, see stat above.
What Does Next Season Hold? Rotting in South Wales.
2014/15 Rating: 2/10
The Good: Seeing him get much-needed game time on loan at Oldham.
The Bad: That he wasn't able to capitalise on the first-team chances offered to him when the striker role was there for the taking.
The Ugly: Watching him get bullied by one of the league's best defences against Ipswich when he clearly wasn't ready for it.
What Does Next Season Hold? Depends on Neil Lennon's fortunes in the transfer market. Could well play a role in the first team, but he needs to progress over the summer if he is to seize any opportunity.
2014/15 Rating: 4/10
The Good: Seeing him make his first-team debut late in the season against Bournemouth. Seeing a youngster making it into the first team is always a proud moment.
The Bad: We were already 3-0 down and there was no hope for him to do anything, but it'd be great to see him given more of a chance if he's up to it.
The Ugly: Bit harsh on the kid to label the ugly brush against him after 10 minutes of professional football.
What Does Next Season Hold? Lennon's preference towards throwing the youngsters in at the deep end should give Woolery optimism, lets hope he can make the most of any chances that come his way.
2014/15 Rating: 6/10, just because he made his professional debut