The Quentin X Phile - Episode 2

Now, where was I? Oh yes, looking forward to finally seeing Eidur Gudjohnsen in a Bolton shirt. The legs may not be there but the brain still is. He may no longer be one of the best finishers, but he can still pick a pass and slot the ball away. Oh yes, finally getting to see him in a white shirt will be a dream come true.

What's that? Shijiazhuang Ever Bright you say? He's gone to work for a toothpaste company? Are the wages at The Macron that tight that he has to get a second job? I know he has an issue with the horses, but really?

No? He really has gone to China? Doesn't he realise he's letting me down? Fourteen long years I waited to see him play for Bolton and he's beggared off for as little an excuse as a final pay day. Doesn't he realise that Shijiazhuang is always at risk of cold, dry winters that reflect the influence of the vast Siberian anticyclone. It's not the same as a wet, windy day at the base of Winter Hill is it? A city of ten million against a town of 140,000. Neil Lennon or a man who appears to have the same middle name and surname?

Oh, Eidur. You have given me the biggest shock of the summer.

But wait. What is this? A signing to be excited about? Ok, it's not Anelka, Okocha, Djorkaeff, Campo, Stelios or Matt Jansen. But Ben Amos is a good signing. I know it is probably difficult to get excited about a goalkeeping signing, but I think we have someone here who can become the kind of hero that Jussi was and that Bogdan strove to be, but failed on the grounds of having funny coloured hair. It comes as little surprise to me that Amos was beaten from forty yards the other day (it was Amos wasn't it?) as I believe that when it comes to the real football, it will take freak goals like that to beat him. And it also means we have something in common, as people used to lob me when I played in goal, albeit from about thirty yards nearer the goal.

And we also appear to have signed a player from Real Madrid. Players from Real Madrid have always had a good record at Bolton. Think Heirro, Think Campo. Think....Marcos Alonso. And I like a player who goes by one name. Succinct and to the point. The name Derik may not sound the most continental of names (when I think of Derek's my mind turns to the bloke who has played Charlie in Casualty since the year dot) but if his play is as short to the point as his name, I think we may be at lot more solid at the back than we have been recently.

Then again, he may be more like Derek Jacobi. Or Derek Smalls.

And we have started off the pre season poorly. However, I'm not one to believe that pre season means an awful lot and, as the manager says, the beginning of pre season at the very least is about knackering your players out so that self important people can look at photos of your players hanging over a railing and complain about English coaching practices. The most important fixture is the one on August 8th, not the ones at the beginning of July. Pre season is about figuring out your team whilst at the same time farming out the dead wood for another season so they can wind their contract down. I fully expect us to come out fully firing in a months time to take some bookies by surprise.

I mean, it's not like Darren Pratley will be our new captain.

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Miss Episode One of the Quentin X Phile? Have no fear, you can read it by clicking here.