Rumours regarding Bolton Wanderers' American defender, Tim Ream, departing from the Macron Stadium are simply refusing to kindly fuck off into the ether and die a quiet but timely death.
Reports this afternoon from Alan Nixon claim that Fulham have joined fellow London shithouses Queens Park Rangers in the race to sign the centre-back-come-left-back. Whilst having two teams that have far bigger wallets than they have brain cells entering a potential bidding war for Ream could certainly lead to us getting an inflated price for him, I hope this particular race ends with the horses breaking their legs on the first jump and having to be shot, on site, right in the head.
I do not want us to sell Tim Ream. Nope. Not at all. Not having it.
My main reason is very simple and very personal, he is my favourite Bolton player. He has been since he first signed to be honest with you. Even when the vast majority of the Bolton fanbase stood against him in harsh criticism, it was only me and a few of our American brethren who stood by his side and knew he was a good footballer.
I got his name on the back of my shirt in our first season in the Championship. I started the #DareToReam thing and often punned his name into the word dReam. And when he finally did become good and got the recognition from every supporter, I felt like a proud father who watched his son blossom from a total clogger who could hardly run to becoming an intelligent defensive midfielder who won his team's 'Most Improved Player of the Year' award. I felt like my Dad, basically.
A wise man undoubtedly once said something along the lines of: "there's little point in paying too much attention to a club's finances, that's the job of the accountants and the board, just enjoy the football." On that basis and logic, I do not want my football club to sell my favourite player. For any price. I genuinely don't care.
If the last time I get to see Ream in a Bolton shirt ends up being that soul destroying final day of last season, then I will be truly devastated.
On to the footballing and little less emotional side of things, he's our best player too! No matter what your thoughts on Ream are, he won the Player of the Year twice in a row for a reason, even if that reason was because he was the only player who managed to actually stay injury free for the whole campaign - it's still a reason, and a pretty damn good one for us.
Just because we happened to have one very good defensive display for the first time in years, against Derby County, it does not give reason or reassurance to go and sell our most consistent and versatile defender. Not to mention he is actually a good player; a solid, if not a little weak at times, defender and easily our best passer on the ball.
We wouldn't be able to find a replacement even if Neil Lennon was given the money we got from the transfer to spend, and with all signs pointing towards Lennon wanting to revert back to his 3-5-2 formation at some point in the future, he would be losing one of the key components of the system if Ream was to be sold. Making all of his good work and effort in the window mean nothing.
Now, I know I previously mentioned that I'm not caring about the finances - and I'm still not - but it is an area that I need to address. If Fulham and QPR do get into a battle for Ream and a bid of something crazy like £4m does come in then - if I'm not putting any sort of emotion into this at all, which I'm really straining to do - the club would have to accept it. It would mean we've made a tidy profit on a player, got no doubt some high wages off the bill and it's a good amount money going into the club.
However, if you're trying to kid yourself into thinking that Lennon will see even a single penny of the money we could potentially make on Ream, then stop. Because he won't. Soon as the fee gets checked in it will immediately disappear into the black hole that is the Bolton Wanderers bank account and will never be seen of again.
Just like the money we got from Crystal Palace for Chung-yong Lee did, and just like any other minimal fees we've got from players in recent years did. It will disappear. The absolute best we can hope for is that the wages that have been freed up gives room for a couple of freebies or loans.
Which is depressing as fuck. So please, Bolton Wanderers, do not sell Tim Ream.
Besides, you best all hope we don't sell him, because you can as sure as shit expect a new poem if he does depart.