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Our Predictions for the Season: Alastair

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Next up, it's the new guy.

Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

The football season is now only a few days away, and as such the LoVS writers have been tasked to put their credibility on the line and give their predictions for the year of football to come. Once the season is over and all the results are in, we'll gather them all up and see who did best!

The third edition of the predictions are from the new guy, the brains behind Talking Trotters, Alastair:

Today I saw a Barclays advert in Time Square, New York. It showed a clip of Elmander scoring for Bolton, followed by Aguero's title winning goal against QPR. I mentioned it to the guy I was next too who turned out to be a Scottish born musician who now lives in New Jersey. He says his mantra is 'I'm just an old country boy, trouble is wrong country'. The following was written in the headquarters of the UN.

Championship Winners: Middlesborough. They've invested heavily and always look good.

Second Place: QPR. I hate the fact the money grabbing bastards bought their way out of the league last time but they've not gone mental yet this year.

Play-off winners: Wolves. Their front three is very strong and it would be such a story if they do go back up.

Three relegated teams: Bristol, Rotherham, Charlton. I'm scared to write Bolton but these guys seem to be in more trouble than us.

Championship Top Goal Scorer: Chris Martin. Poacher in a team that'll end up scoring a lot.

Best Player: Ben Amos. And what.

Surprise Team: MK Dons. Not promotion candidates but definitely mid table.

Three teams who'll gain promotion to the Championship: Barnsley, Sheffield and Doncaster. Barnsley had a great run at the end of last season.

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Premier League Winners: Chelsea, I'm not happy about it.

2nd, 3rd, 4th: United, Arsenal, City. In that order.

Three relegated teams: Bournemouth, Newcastle, Leicester.

Top goal scorer: Hazard. City don't look strong enough for Aguero to run riot but Chelsea and Hazard could still perform.

Best player: Sanchez. I hate Arsenal with a burning passion and no justification but the only way is up it seems for Alexis.

New signing who will flop: Lens. This seems like Giaccherini all over again.

New signing who will succeed: Clasie. While I must admit I'm not an avid follower of the Dutch leagues, Clasie has been celebrated as a promising player.

Surprise Team: Watford. They've got so many new players under contract they could invade Luton. Ighalo to shine.

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Champions League Winner: Barca. Unstoppable despite transfer embargo.

Runner up: Bayern. Now that they have signed Vidal, pretty much every position is occupied by a world class player.

Top Goal scorer: Suarez. As long as he doesn't go all Hannibal Lecter on some cured Spanish meat he'll probably be a stand out player.

La Liga Winners: Real Madrid. A tough dressing room to go into with the team hurting after having to say goodbye to Derik Osede. They'll bounce back, it'll be nice to see Benitez win something, although he does remind me of Al from Toy Story.

Bundesliga Winners: Bayern. With Wolfsburg being their next closest competition, I wouldn't bet against them.

Serie A Winners: Juve. I'm aware these are all unoriginal choices but after being champions league finalists you expect them to do just fine in the domestic competitions (ignore Dortmund).

Ligue 1 Winners: Lyon. Here we are to spice things up a little. PSG can't just throw money at their problems until they go away they aren't the Hiltons. There is no evidence to suggest that Di Maria will rediscover form in Paris and Lyon are a consistent and united team.

Eredivise Winners: Ajax. I don't know anything about this league.

Who'll score more, Messi or Ronaldo?: Messi.

Your own bonus prediction: Leicester will have three managers in a season. I just hope Lennon isn't one of them.

I look forward to slowly being proved wrong over the coming months