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Football Film Thursdays: Rise of the Footsoldier

In the second of our new series, Chris checks out another 'classic'

We had 'THE UNBEATABLES' last week - a 2/5 effort apparently.

This week it's my turn and I've gone for RISE OF THE FOOTSOLDIER.

You can see the trailer here:

Let's get the awkwardness out of the way - RISE OF THE FOOTSOLDIER is a 2007 British crime film based on the true story of the 1995 Rettendon murders and the autobiography of Carlton Leach, a football hooligan of the infamous Inter City Firm (ICF) who became a powerful figure of the English underworld.

Thanks Wikipedia.

This 113 minute pile of nonsense has it's place - the bargain bin at a closed-down Blockbuster video store. The anticipated audience for this shitpile is likely to be your average Instagram 'weekend warrior' type with an excess of Stone Island clobber and, presumably, a well-rounded upbringing.

The story, for what it is, is barely there - and the lead Ricci about as convincing as a Dougie Freedman defensive line-up. The film loosely follows Leach's rise from rent-a-fist dickhead through to gangland mobster with little panache and zero warmth.

The 5ft 6in actor is meant to be a tough guy - indeed the story of Carlton Leach is one of a truly scary individual - but this guy is horribly miscast and the film is basically an orgy of violence with no redeeming features whatsoever.

If you can remember the excellent Fast Show sketch where the Cockney actors thrashed one another with lines such as "You nonce" "You slag" "You mug" "You slag" then you get an idea as to the standard we're dealing with here.

I would advise that you spend your time wisely by avoiding this film - or if you insist on going through with it - choose instead to spend 113 minutes smashing your head against the wall for a similar effect.

The film made a grand total of £220,000 at the box office. I'm amazed it made that much.

Verdict: 0/5.

Absolute dogshit. Oh and they're making a sequel!