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Why I'm Looking Forward to the Match, But Really I'm Not

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Like Natalie Imbruglia in the hit song 'Torn' - Chris is torn

Bell end
Bell end
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I wasn't able to attend the Burton Albion or Derby County games, nor the MK Dons one this past Tuesday due to family commitments (#shitfan) and so this afternoon's match between Bolton Wanderers and Nottingham Forest will be my first of the season.

I should, by rights, be really looking forward to it.

I am, in a way - but really I'm not.

It's one of those horrible matches between Bolton and a club that I desperately want to beat - the sort of game that is really hard to watch.

I equate it to our local derbies against Blackburn Rovers and Wigan Athletic. The anticipation and the build-up is the best thing in the world. Insults are flying between fans of the clubs, shit memes are invented and some goon puts up a 'Banter' page on Facebook populated by the sort of people you normally see on telly at 10am on ITV midweeks.

Then the game arrives. It's tense, you're nervous - I'm nervous - sometimes the players are nervous. It's not usually conducive to a fantastic football match.

But we have to get through it.

We have to win. I can't imagine what it'll be like if we don't. It's him - it's Dougie Freedman coming back.

It's not even Matt Mills - he means nothing to me and nothing to Bolton Wanderers.

But it's him. It's Dougie.

The man we insisted be removed. The man who botched his own brilliant job getting us the cusp of the Play Offs in 2012/13. The man who almost ruined the careers of Josh Vela and Zach Clough. The man who would never have re-signed Eidur Gudjohnsen.

The man who brought us Danny Butterfield and Steve de Ridder.

I hope we win. We have to win.

I'm really looking forward to this one - but I'm also not.

Oh God this is terrible. Just fucking win. WIN!