Marvin Sordell: How the Shite-y Have Fallen

In a wonderful twist of fate, part-time footballer and full-time entrepreneur Marvin Sordell has joined League One side Colchester United on a free transfer.

His Burnley contract rescinded because he was crap, the former Watford and Bolton Wanderers man has dropped down a league to try and restart his faltering career.

The 24-year-old began his career at Vicarage Road, where he made his name by scoring 27 goals in 83 games for the Hornets, which earned him a move to then Premier League side Bolton in 2012 - turning down a deadline day move to Malky Mackay and Cardiff City en route to the North West.

His time at the club was a failure, scoring just eight goals in 29 games, spread across three seasons. He spent a similarly weak-assed season on loan at Charlton in the 2013/14 season where he again failed to impress.

It came as a shock to the whole world when he was signed by Burnley on the eve of their 2014/15 Premier League season. However, what came as less of a shock was the resulting failure which yielded a single goal in 21 games before being released this summer.

Good luck Marvin, I hope you find success. No, seriously, I do.