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Five Things: Bolton Wanderers 2-1 Wolves

Chris is back once again with the ill behaviour

Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

No pissing about, let's get cracking:

1) Prince-Désir Gouano

My own personal Jesus Christ.

I absolutely love Prince-Désir Gouano. He's not perfect. He's not the best. However, I love him still. I don't care that some (Daniel Pedro Murphy) have decided that 'he's got a mistake in him' - I don't care. Football is about excitement and about interest - Prince has these characteristics in spades.

The class of Gary Cahill mixed with the potential for fuckuppery of Zat Knight has left us with a stunning central defender. If you are bothered that he gave the ball away near the end and nearly cost us a goal then you a) don't understand football and b) you're a disgusting idiot.

Football is all about emotion, and the joy in seeing Prince take on yet another last-ditch tackle (successfully I might add) far outweighs the stress of him taking a second longer than you'd like for him to clear the ball.

Prince is fucking ace, and if you don't agree then I hope you have a bad day in work on Monday.

2) Derik Osede is Ace N'All

A superb debut from the former Real Madrid man.

I was concerned beforehand given his stature - at less than 6ft he's not your archetypal centre back, and given his classy upbringing at Valdebebas I was bothered that he would be a bit of a smartypants and therefore someone unsuited to the Championship - well, on yesterday's evidence I think I could well have underestimated him.

Derik won the majority of his aerial battles, and his nascent partnership with the aforementioned Prince was really encouraging - the pace that both possess being more than enough in this shit league.

The pair kept Benik Afobe and Adam Le Fondre at bay with relative ease - it was really encouraging to see.

3) The Dark Side of Adam Le Fondre

It's funny how when you sign a player you ignore his bad features.

We let El Hadji Diouf off with being a dick because, well, he was our dick. Well, the Wolves game saw the dark side of someone we used to Adam Le Fondre.

Gone was the endearing centre forward keen to win every ball possible - instead this charmer was replaced with the irritating shit of a forward who dives to win free kicks at every turn.

Perhaps he was struggling with the lack of chances that his awful side created. This was, without question, the worst Wolves side that we've entertained in recent years - but ALF's decision to go to ground was really sad to see. He was fantastic in a Bolton Wanderers shirt, but this goodwill won't last long if he carries on being a snidey diving little bitch as he was on Saturday. Shame really, as I liked him.

4) Gary Madine is Struggling

The 2-1 result does hint at it being quite tight, but in reality it was a comfortable win for Neil Lennon and his men.

That result however could have been a thousand times more comfortable had our MAIN STRIKER been able to hit a cow's arse with a banjo.

Now I can forgive any striker for missing a chance or two - that's the game, these things happen - but what I cannot forgive is the sort of performance that ex-Sheffield Wednesday and Blackpool striker Madine gave against Wolves.

Madine has had it tough in front of the goal lately - still without a league goal - but against Wolves he couldn't have had it any easier. With Wellington Silva and Mark Davies on fire there was no excuse for Madine missing the sort of chances that he missed and it points to a marked lack of confidence - that's fine, and I see where that sort of opinion can come from - but when does it stop?

Emile Heskey came on for Zach Clough - but he should have replaced Madine. Our no.14 missed three simple chances and has the sort of pained expression upon his face that elicits feelings of sympathy and concern amongst fans. He needs to be taken out of the firing line before the terrace opinion takes a permanent turn for the worst.

5) Mark Davies Should Be Playing for England

I don't even think that's an exaggeration.

Against his former team, Davies was imperious. Age suits him. The captaincy suits him.

He's maturing like a fine wine, or a particularly pungent cheese. Davies is fucking ace. His midfield bursts were reminiscent of Paul Gascoigne at his peak - the energy, the close control and the final pass is top class.

He's better than Tom Cleverley. He's better than Fabian Delph and he's better than Ross Barkley.

Mark Davies should be playing for England.

Yesterday perhaps represented his finest appearance in a Bolton Wanderers shirt and showed what a talent we truly have. He has played an average of 25 games per season since arriving in 2009....imagine if we could get him fit and ready for a 46 game season. The sky is the limit.