Five Things: Bolton Wanderers 0 - 1 Reading

We're really shit at football, aren't we? For such a well-established English footballing side, our entire history is rapidly descending into the mire. Here are five things I took from the game.

1) Referees Are Getting Worse

I've mentioned before that I'm a fully qualified referee and have been blowing my whistle on the football pitches of the North West for almost 10 years now. I'd like to think that, like a fine wine, I've matured and become better over time, but that doesn't seem to ring true for officials outside the Premier League. Geoff Eltringham was the man in the middle on Saturday and he was fucking atrocious. His previous game was in League One so we can expect more of the same next season, if not worse.

2) Has Anyone Seen Zach Clough?

I love Zach, don't get me wrong, but he really has gone missing far too many times this season. I couldn't work out where he was playing for a good five minutes after kick off, but after realising it was out on the left, even Stevie Wonder would see he was struggling. I've said it before that his height is a real problem for him, so to negate that problem he needs to spend some serious hours in the gym this summer (if we can keep hold of him). I hope he can come back stronger in League One next season because if he doesn't, he's in danger of disappearing into the abyss of the cesspit that is Bolton Wanderers.

3) Ben Amos: Comeback King

Although I gave the coveted Lion of Vienna man of the match award to my favourite Spaniard, Derik Osede, Ben Amos was unlucky to miss out. He was excellent from start to finish, saving a penalty and generally proving just how good of a goalkeeper he is AND how much we've missed him. The only thing that let him down at times was his distribution.

4) Stephen Dobbie x Emile Heskey

Fuck off. Seriously, fuck the fuck off out of our club. Shit bags. Glad one got injured and the other was at fault for the Reading goal - it showed just how shit they both are.

5) Gary Madine

You're shit, mate, but we missed you on Saturday. If Kaiyne Woolery can play off you next season ('cause let's face it, no one in their right mind would sign you after the season you've had) then I'd say, in League One, we'd have a decent strike force. Also, if you left the club I'd have to change my Twitter profile picture and no one wants that.

We're down, lads. See you at Port Vale in August.