So it's Transfer Deadline Day and Bolton Wanderers are in fairly desperate need of new faces. Darren Pratley is out injured, Mark Davies has seemingly been sidelined for the season with a dreadful knee injury, Zach Clough and Max Clayton seem to be permanently injured, and we only have two fit centre-halves.
Surely this means there will be more movement at the Macron than you're likely to see from 'striker' Conor Wilkinson, or indeed last transfer deadline day - where absolutely nothing happened. But the likelihood is there will have to be some form of out before we are able to bring someone in.
We'll bring you any ins and outs and generally interesting news from what will hopefully be an interesting day of transfer activity below.
Feel free to get in touch with your thoughts on who you think we need, who we should buy or sell, and generally all things Wanderers-related.
A cheeky midnight treat for you all. All our TWELVE summer signings:
David Wheater (technically)
Oh, and the big man Phil Parkinson
So basically a new team. Bloody delighted. Good night one and all.
Hang on, hang on. Put that sleep on hold. Just as I wrote the below, the club confirmed the signing of Tom Thorpe! FIVE Deadline Day signings!!
Think that's us done for tonight folks. We have confirmation of four new signings, and we think there's a fifth. Just to confirm:
James Henry (Wolves, loan), Keshi Anderson (Crystal Palace, loan), Ben Alnwick (Peterborough United, free) and Sammy Ameobi (Newcastle United, loan)
Tom Thorpe (Rotherham United, loan)
Conor Wilkinson (Chesterfield, loan), Tom Walker (Bury, loan), Kaiyne Woolery (Wigan Wanderers, permanent)
I've been live blogging on here for 15 hours, so I'm off to sit in the corner and have a good word with myself about my life choices.
So for now, goodnight my friends.
Thorpe was fancied by Man United fans until fairly recently.. check out the comments here
That takes us to TWELVE new signings in the summer. TWELVE! Not bad for a club under transfer embargo eh?
Looks like the fifth signing is going to be Tom Thorpe, from Rotherham.
Still slogging away here in the office... Watch this space. #BWFC— Emma Norris (@ENorris_BWFC) August 31, 2016
Would you rather sign Moussa Sissoko for 5 years or Sammy Ameobi for 5 months? I'm going with the latter thanks!
Deadline Day is done. And we've got Sammy Ameobi. So there. Rumours of a fifth or even sixth new arrival seem fairly unlikely now though.
Kaiyne has a message for us. Here it is:
20 minutes to go.. Let's be having those signings Parky
So with Woolery gone as well, does this mean more incoming players??
And there's more activity. Kaiyne Woolery has joined Wigan (obviously) on a permanent deal. Adios Kaiyne.
There is a possibility, I am told, of a 5th signing at #bwfc tonight. No guarantees but club trying...— Marc Iles (@MarcIles) August 31, 2016
So that's Keshi Anderson, James Henry, Ben Alnwick and Sammy Ameobi all arriving at the Macron. Done Deals.
Make that FOUR new signings:
We have a signing... James Henry. And more to come...
We've signed Ameobi apparently - Sammy this time. Hmm.. Thoughts?
Make that FIVE! Talk about leaving it late...
We're now expecting FOUR INCOMING TRANSFERS before 11pm. I can't contain myself...
Surely we must expecting several incoming transfers now...
And another out - Tom Walker joins Bury on a season-long loan.
AMAZING NEWS!!! Conor Wilkinson has left the club! He's teaming up with Ched Evans at Chesterfield!!
Apparently we're expecting an official announcement in 5 minutes... We'll see about that!!
In the meantime we're recording the LOVpod right now...
Still heard absolutely nothing about anything related to Bolton. Two-and-a-half-hours to go...
No news on anything in... but apparently Tom Walker could be going on loan to Bury and Kaiyne Woolery could be going to... wait for it... Wigan on a permanent deal. But nothing confirmed as yet...
Jack Wilshere apparently on the verge of signing for Bournemouth. One interesting fact on that move, apparently he is best mates with Benik Afobe, who is godfather to Wilshere's kid, or vice-versa... So that may have affected his decision.
Maybe it only bloody is...
Is this an ominous tweet, suggesting something is actually about to happen?!
I've cycled home from work, and it looks like nothing else has happened.
However, in other news Chelsea are throwing another load of money at a defender who can't defend in David Luiz. Leicester are breaking their transfer record for an Algerian striker, Spurs are still yet to learn their lesson on unknown crap French
Apparently that Twitter love is helping - Madine now seems less likely to be leaving, but Thorpe could still be arriving. Interesting.
Remember that crap Spanish left-back who couldn't defend, who we let go on a free? Oh yeah, him. Well he's just joined Chelsea for £23 million. What is the world coming to?
Lots of love out there for Big Gaz Madine all of a sudden. He may be an idiot, but he's our idiot.
And another possible Bolton in...
Six hours to go...
In other news - Burnley have blown £10.5m on Jeff Hendrick. Like you do.
We've not even made this one up..
This raises the valid point...
How are we going to swap one of our only two senior strikers (Wilkinson doesn't count) for a centre back? #bwfc— Tom Molloy (@TOMolloy) August 31, 2016
Hold onto your hats..... Tom Thorpe in, Gary Madine out. Straight swap with Rotherham United. Apparently.
Well this fills me with confidence that all kinds of madness is about to happen:
v busy stay alive and awake theyre coming!— superagent73 (@superagent73) August 31, 2016
Latest rumour is that Tom Walker is being farmed out on loan to Bury. Where he will obviously go and look like an absolute world beater.
Bolton are being linked with Everton youngster Liam Walsh, who apparently played against us in 'The Game We Do Not Speak Of.' Charlton are also interested, and both teams are apparently also interested in Wolves' James Henry.
Old Captain Vague is on the case... Cheers Nicko.
And now this... Do one Le Fondre.
This is utter nonsense, but seeing as there's nothing happening...
"It's all gone quiet over there, it's all gone quiet over there. It's all gone quiet, all gone quiet, all gone quiet over there."
No we're not at Arsenal, or Charlton, or Fulham - there's just absolutely nothing happening transfer wise.
A bit of news from old Philly Parks. Seems ambitious / unlikely
Exciting update on #OdemwingieWatch:
make sure you turn up at the right golf course bro! https://t.co/sclq3VhB20— Jack Butland (@JackButland_One) August 31, 2016
Not sure if this is a potential transfer blocked, or just a Twitter mong.
First one blocked for the day. Really is a shame... #bwfc— Marc Iles (@MarcIles) August 31, 2016
(It was the latter...)
Been out for lunch - went to Argos, Boots, Co-Op. Came back to the office. Ate some pasta. Played Fifa 16. Bolton still haven't bought anyone.
Seems this Ben Alnwick could be on... We do need a backup given Amos has moved on after all. Interesting how that affects other possible incomings though..
Alnwick supposedly having a medical decent backup keeper I suppose, used to have him on my old FIFA career #bwfc— Will Jones (@Wi1lJ) August 31, 2016
Midday on transfer deadline day, and possible, realistic Bolton signings today seem to be:
Keshi Anderson, Crystal Palace - seems a fairly likely loan move
Ben Alnwick, Peterborough United - could be a move to fill the vacant backup goalkeeper slot
James Henry, Wolves - seems less likely, especially with Charlton also showing an interest
Let's hope not, eh?
12 hours to go... and it wouldn't be Transfer Deadline Day without this guy involved would it? That's right, Peter Odemwingie is available on a free transfer and roaming the country in his expensive Range Rover to a lucky club somewhere..
And how about this for a stellar, if aging, free agent strikeforce:
Bit out of leftfield but... Nicolas Anelka anyone? He's available on a free...
And the latest ridiculous rumour goes to... Ishmael Miller. Kill me now. Although I'm pretty sure he scored against us last season (which didn't take much, admittedly)
Strange one, but I've just had an interesting phone call about #BWFC's interesting in free agent Ishmael Miller. Wages an issue at the mo.— Jonny Eckersley (@JonnyEckersley) August 31, 2016
Bored of the football nonsense? Apparently this guy has the solution for you... What a nutter...
Talking of ex-Wanderers, that ridiculous Marcos Alonso move to Chelsea still seems imminent. Silly, stupid, ridiculous money. Football has officially gone barmy.
That Jack Wilshere guy has really struggled since he left Bolton hasn't he? The Arsenal midfielder has apparently been left with the choice of joining Bournemouth or Crystal Palace on loan for the remainder of the season... Unlucky Jack.
So that Keshi Anderson deal seems to actually be fairly likely. But who is Keshi Anderson?
The 21-year-old started at Burton Albion, scoring an impressive 32 goals in 53 games in all competitions. He scored a hat-trick during a trial at Brentford against Crystal Palace, and was swiftly snapped up by The Eagles - but has yet to make a senior appearance for them. He went out on loan to Doncaster Rovers last season, scoring 3 goals in 7 games before suffering a broken leg.
So he seems to have an eye for goal, and could be a decent signing! Let's hope we can get it over the line...
And back to the ridiculous but faintly amusing...
Just off the phone with a reliable source and he tells me that were closing in on the return of Nicky Hunt. Announcement imminent. #bwfc— Josh Alexander (@__joshalexander) August 31, 2016
Hold your horses. Enough of this 'Marlon King's at the train station' jibber-jabber. We have a genuine, actual, real-life, proper transfer rumour. Apparently, Keshi Anderson, the young Crystal Palace striker - yes, a striker - is set to sign for Bolton.
And don't just take our word for it, our south London friends are talking about it too. More info here.
And now from that much more reliable source of nonsense Twitter rumours. Marlon King, ladies and gents.
What's that, first transfer rumour of the day? Coming from the reliable source that is our man Liam O'Meara, could Thomas Sorenson be imminent...
We were told last night Bolton have offered Thomas Sorenson a player/coach position. Apparently he is over here seeing friends— Liam Michael O'Meara (@liam_omeara) August 31, 2016