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Our Predictions for 2016/17: Jonny

Jonny's given his predictions for 2016/17 and there are a few surprises...

Crewe Alexandra v Bolton Wanderers - Pre-Season Friendly Photo by Nathan Stirk/Getty Images

Well, here we are again, ladies and gents; the start of a new football season. After a horrific 2016/16 season, it’s about time some joy returned to the Macron and I’m approaching this season with youthful optimism. Will we win the league? Probably not. Will we get promoted? I’m not sure. Will things be better than last season? Absolutely.

We’ve still got some deadwood in our squad, but with a new manager at the helm and new owners sat at the long table upstairs, we should be much happier as fans of Bolton Wanderers.

So, without further ado, here’s my 2016/17 predictions for the best game in the world.

League One Winners: MK Dons

Second Place: Sheffield United

Play-off winners: Millwall (but we’ll lose to them in the semis after Gary Madine punches the ref and gets sent off in the second minute)

Three relegated teams: Northampton, Bury, Bradford (How funny would that be?)

Top Goal Scorer: No idea. It’s staggering how little I know about League One football.

Best Player: As above

Surprise Team: Port Vale

Championship Winners: Absolutely Newcastle. With the amount of cash they’ve spent I’d say they’re on course to “do an Invincibles” and send Sports Direct’s share prices through the roof.

Second Place: Aston Villa. Has to be.

Play-off Winners: Derby County

Three relegated teams: Fulham, Nottingham Forest, Cardiff (Lots of dodgy finances...)

Premier League Winners: Manchester City

2nd, 3rd, 4th: Manchester United, Spurs, Chelsea

Three relegated teams: Hull City, Sunderland, West Brom

Top goal scorer: Jesus, there are so many to choose from. I’m going to say Sergio Aguero.

Best player: Kevin De Bruyne

New signing who will flop: Paul Pogba (If it ever fucking happens)

New signing who will succeed: Sadio Mane

Surprise Team: Stoke

Champions League Winner: Barcelona

Runner Up: Manchester City

Top goal scorer: Antoine Griezmann

La Liga Winners: Barcelona

Bundesliga Winners: Bayern Munich

Serie A Winners: Juventus

Ligue 1 Winners: PSG

Eredivise Winners: PSV Eindhoven

Who'll score more, Messi or Ronaldo?: Messi

Your own bonus prediction: Phil Parkinson to get sacked after shagging Ken Anderson’s missus. Ivan Campo, Kevin Davies & Kevin Nolan to take three-way charge of 13th-placed. Wanderers in January. We go on to win the league. SCENES.