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Our Predictions for 2016/17: Rob

Rob looks into his magic ball for the season ahead

Premier League's star man this season?
Premier League's star man this season?
Matthias Hangst/Getty Images

With the domestic season almost upon us, I'll make some ridiculous predictions for what could happen in the next 12 months - including champions Leicester City being back in the Championship alongside Port Vale this time next year...

League One Winners: Charlton Athletic. Loads of people are tipping Sheffield United, but I'm not really sure why seeing as they struggled to mid-table last season and their summer additions aren't exactly world beaters. I think Charlton could be a threat with the likes of Ademola Lookman and new signing Nicky Ajose -€” who scored 25 in 40 last season -€” leading their attack.

Second Place: Port Vale. They've brought in 13 new players this summer, of whom 11 are foreigners, and are being widely tipped for relegation, so it'd be quite amusing if the bizarre transfer policy actually worked out for them.

Play-off winners: Bolton Wanderers. God loves an optimist

Three relegated teams: Oldham Athletic, AFC Wimbledon and Swindon Town

Top Goalscorer: Nicky Ajose

Best Player: Zach Clough, if he stays fit he has every chance

Surprise Team: Based on the ridiculous prediction above, Port Vale.

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Championship Winners: Newcastle United look like they're trying to buy the league and they've made some impressive signings, so probably them.

Second Place: It should be Aston Villa or Norwich City, but still not convinced if they have what it takes to bounce back immediately. I'll go with Villa.

Play-off Winners: Based on the madness Lee Johnson has been spouting, let's go with Bristol City as an outsider.

Three relegated teams: Preston North End, Wigan Athletic, Nottingham Forest. That would be beautiful.

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Premier League Winners: Annoyingly I think the Pep Guardiola effect will probably win it for Manchester City

2nd, 3rd, 4th: Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool

Three relegated teams: Leicester City (just imagine the scenes, and their transfer dealings this summer have been awful), Sunderland and Swansea -€” both of which have had dreadful summers so far.

Top goalscorer: Surely it has to be Sergio Aguero this season.

Best player: Kevin de Bruyne, I can see him flourishing even further under Guardiola. Maybe Eden Hazard to make a return to form as well.

New signing who will flop: Sadio Mané or Giorginio Wijnaldum, just to continue Liverpool's usually dreadful transfer policy of ridiculously overspending on average players. Also, N'Golo Kante purely because Chelsea blowing £30 million on a defensive midfielder who's had one good season is ridiculous.

New signing who will succeed: I want to say Zlatan Ibrahimovic, just because he's Zlatan. Failing that, Ilkay Gundugan could be a great signing for City and Jordon Ibe could be a hit at Bournemouth.

Surprise Team: Bournemouth. I like the signings of Ibe and Lewis Cook, and their rise through the leagues is just a great story. I also like Middlesbrough's transfer activity, with the additions of Alvaro Negredo and Ajax winger Viktor Fischer, and they had a solid defence last season so they could be a threat.

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Champions League Winner: Real Madrid, it's tough to look beyond them again this season.

Runner Up: Bayern Munich. Zinedine Zidane v Carlo Ancelotti would be brilliant in the final.

Top Goalscorer: Cristiano Ronaldo.

La Liga Winners: Real Madrid, usurping Barcelona finally

Bundesliga Winners: Just to be different, Borussia Dortmund led by the returning Mario Gotze

Serie A Winners: Juventus, boring boring boring.

Ligue 1 Winners: Paris Saint-Germain, see above. The French league is an absolute borefest.

Eredivise Winners: Ajax. They've just got a hefty wad of money by selling Arkadiusz Milik to Napoli, so hopefully they can reinvest that well.

Who'll score more, Messi or Ronaldo? Cristiano all the way. Messi's too busy bleaching his hair, and not paying his taxes.

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Your own bonus prediction: Mark Clattenburg to have laser removal surgery on his appalling tattoos, after constant abuse from football fans up and down England and across Europe week after week.