In 26 days, you could walk from Land's End to John O'Groats 39 times with a decent night's sleep in between trips. You could fly to the States, manage about 2-300 miles in the car a day, and ponder the sights of Route 66. You could probably knit a life-sized clone of Zach Clough, develop the technology to bring it to life, and get it match fit for the Charlton match. What you can't do, apparently, is fly home from the Caribbean to sign a player to play for Bolton Wanderers Football Club.
We have no money. We have a transfer embargo. We have a squad off 22 (or so the Football League appears to have concluded). Title rivals Sheffield United and Scunthorpe are bringing players in to boost their ranks, and us Wanderers fans are patiently waiting at our windows (no pun intended) for new recruits like war widows.
Now, football transfers are tricky business at the best of times. Add to that a transfer embargo, a treacherous financial position, and circling rumours of High Court action, and you've got a pretty difficult job on your hands.
Why, then, must certain individuals at the club make this precarious situation even more difficult? By responding to fan tweets, an almost Beatlemania-esque excitement has waxed and waned over the possible signing of Adam Le Fondre, who by all accounts is open to a return to the Macron. All the club appears to be doing is encouraging this Le Fondre Fever, which could likely end in disappointment if we don't have the resources to bring him in.
The same situation applies to Sammy Ameobi. The player himself was quoted as thanking Bolton Wanderers and its fans for their support, but considers himself to now be "home" in Newcastle. The returning Toon brigade of AFCON players in February may leave Ameobi surplus to requirements, but if we are to believe the rumours regarding unpaid agent's fees, Ameobi's agent may be less enamoured to deal with Bolton Wanderers once more. When the chairman tells fans that Ameobi can't sign for another club, that doesn't mean that he's coming back to the Macron. Unfortunately, many have interpreted it that way.
I would very much enjoy being wrong about this situation. I, like all Wanderers fans, am dreaming of a Le Fondre and Ameobi inspired title run in. However, if that doesn't materialise, and the aspirations of fans are not realised, individuals at the club must shoulder a significant proportion of the blame for the frenzy they have inspired and encouraged on social media. Whether it works or not, it's hardly the epitome of professionalism. Not that I'll care when Le Fondre and Ameobi both score braces at home to Bury to seal the League One title.
Until next time, lovely readers, come on you whites!