Alex Samizadeh Leaves Bolton Wanderers: How the Internet Created a Star

So the day has arrived. Alex Samizadeh has left Bolton Wanderers to join Scottish side Kilmarnock, and lo, the internet collapsed on itself.

The most hyped-up footballer since Vinicius Junior, the Iranian centre-forward has had an air of mystery surrounding him ever since he arrived at Bolton from Curzon Ashton. He has departed the club despite a whirlwind of support from hysterical Wanderers fans, incredulous to the thought that during this time of extreme need in terms of strikers, the club would jettison someone who was, to them, the reincarnation of Ronaldo, Nat Lofthouse and me circa 1994 in the North Bury Junior League.

Despite this outcry, he leaves having played just twice for the club, with his on-pitch impact left somewhat lacking, and that’s me being polite to the lad.

Part of the blame for this strange reaction has to fall upon Bolton Wanderers themselves. Never shy in posting a clip of a fancy goal, or a glowing write-up of a performance, Samizadeh’s name was on the lips of every fan for his apparent potential.

The reality was somewhat different.

A player with what can only be described as Zach Clough-esque stature (ie. hobbit), the young man may well have thrived at Development Squad level, but he struggled when given a chance at a higher level with the reserves. Goals came easy to him early on, which fed the hype even further, but the same cannot be said for when he made the step up.

So he leaves with our best wishes, of course, and a sense of what might have been. Even his hardiest of supporter cannot imagine that he would’ve been given a chance this season, what with Phil Parkinson’s apparent desire to have experience in his ranks ahead of this most difficult of campaigns.

I can only hope that the amateur football scouts who never saw him play can get over this trauma, or maybe they’ll become Kilmarnock fans.