Bolton Wanderers Sign Darby From Bradford - LOVSpy is Back!

So we have had official confirmation that Bolton Wanderers have signed Stephen Darby from Bradford City. The ex-Liverpool right-back joins Phil Parkinson on a two year deal as we continue to stockpile defenders. I could be wrong, and I haven't checked, but it feels like half our squad is defenders now. Hmm.

The big news however is that given we are signing him from our great mates at Valley Parade, I have had news from LOV Towers that the lesser-spotted LOV Spy is back in business.

You may or may not remember him from such world-class and widely read articles as Twitter Lemons, but believe me is real and he is spectacular. I had a message from him earlier, and he's been reporting back from the excellent (not really) City Talk website, where it seems Bradford fans had mixed messages about their now-ex player:

Their thread starts off with a simple message from WTRA, which states:

Good luck to him

Which is nice. What else did they have to say?

Bronco, a retired man by his own admission (with 35,000 posts no less!) replied to WTRA with:

Agree, we didn't want him Bolton do

Punctuation aside, isn't this a nice way to view outgoing transfers? When we released Zat Knight for example, and he went to America, was it a case of America wanting him, or us not wanting him? It's a fine existential dilemma.

Half Pint Bob, a town planner from Otley, then continued the theme:

Like Darby but not sure he's Championship quality. Anyway he will get plenty of games back in League 1 in the 2018/19 season

Would you like some salt on that, Bob? Snigger.

Bantam147, a member of the site for nearly a decade, then chimes in to a discussion about Hanson. I presume they mean James and not the band Hanson, but you never know I suppose:

Hanson won't get games. Darby might, but Bolton are the only championship club who'd have signed him. A reflection of their financial situation and Parkinson's relationship with him. He's a solid league one standard full back. Good luck to him.

I've read this a few times and I can't tell if it's a compliment or not. What do you think, dear reader?

Mickey bantam, who presumably couldn't be bothered to capitalise the B in Bantam, then wrote:

Looks like parky's going for 5-4-1 next season , 2 rows of defenders and a striker , down by xmas. Good luck though Darby a true pro

I started out writing a response to this which would have been to take the mickey a bit, but the more I thought about it, the more I decided that the formation bit makes perfect sense. Maybe we can bore our way to survival? Nice to see he likes Darby though, still.

Lee, who has been a member on the site for 12 years (!) then chimed in:

If we got promoted and signed two players like Darby and Morais for our season in the Champ then all hell would break loose on here. When it's not us then it's all quite civilised.

Good job you'll never have that dilemma eh!

Heaton Bantam, a full time beer monster by his own admission, piped up with this glimpse into a terrifying mind:

Deluded fool. He's a great guy but he's not even the best defender in his own house. I'd wager you are the only poster on here who would have kept him over TMAC

Hmm there's a lot to unpick here. Great guy....does that matter? Nah, we have enough bastards to not worry about character. As for his ability over Tony McMahon, well I didn't see anyone else queuing up for him, did you? Full time bellend more like.

Heaton Bantam then came back:

Rather have overrated qualities than non existent qualities. Darby can't take free kicks and gets a nose bleed 40 yards out. Defensively he's great and Bolton will need that ability to stop an onslaught, but we don't

Sounds ace! I'm getting the sense that they really go to town on players when they leave, much like we do. I still haven't got a real sense about Darby and his attributes though.

So there you go - LOVSpy over and out.