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Five Things: Bolton Wanderers 0-3 Middlesborough

Jonny reflects on Saturday’s abymsal display

Bolton Wanderers v Stoke City - Pre-Season Friendly Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

Saturday was another huge wake up call for players and fans alike. Let’s get straight into it.

1. Gary Madine is our shining star in a very dark galaxy

Let’s start with a positive. Yes, you all know I like him. No, I don’t fancy him. Fact of the matter is that Madine was by far our best player on Saturday. Like it or not, he’s better than the majority of our fans think and is very much here to stay. Deal with it.

2. Out-classed, Out-muscled, Out-financed

Those three statements sum up my feelings towards the game. We were beaten by a team that invested £50 million into their strikeforce this summer. We will never be able to compete with that, no matter how many times Superagent tells us we will.

3. Captain Confidence?

I’m not sure what’s happened to Darren Pratley but he’s certainly low on confidence. The fact he’s club captain doesn’t really bode well for the rest of the team, given his recent form. Despite this, I think quite a large portion of our fans should get off his back and at least try to support the man. God knows he’s got a near impossible task on the pitch, never mind off it.

4. Stephen Darby

Are we sure he’s a footballer? What a tit. Fuck off.

5. Parky out

If you’ve even thought about this, you’re a moron. Phil Parkinson is not immune to criticism, nor can he do anything about the cards he’s been dealt, e.g. Our fixtures. Give the man a break for fuck’s sake.

On to tomorrow which is, undoubtedly, an enormous game. COYWM.