Transfer ‘Gossip’: Wanderers extra-terrestrially linked with Accrington striker

In the last twenty-four hours, we have received an out-of-this-world rumour which is linking Accrington Stanley star striker Billy Kee with our beloved Bolton Wanderers.

Now we all know not to believe everything you read, but when it comes from another life form, the chances of this being genuine are poss... I really can't keep this up, I apologise for all the inevitable ET jokes and milk advert references in advance.

Yes, you heard this right, a Twitter account which goes by the name of Roy DeAlien, has recently posted a rumour linking us with Stanley’s top striker. The very nature of this tweet is particularly questionable given the lack of previous speculation regarding Wanderers potentially being interested in signing Kee.

The rumour was immediately greeted by the lads at LOV yesterday with jeers and was quickly rubbished due to the lack of intelligence on the source... I’m sorry, again.

The ‘Alien Football News Reporter’ claims that Kee had turned down the chance to sign for League One side Bristol Rovers after hearing that Wanderers were supposedly also interested in the forward.

The first part of this, for all I know, could be a genuine possibility as a move up to League One for the striker could actually be on the cards. However, I refuse to believe that he declined Rovers due to Wanderers’ supposed interest.

I’m sure many will be quick to deny any form of connection between the player and the club and I can assure you that this won’t come as a surprise to us either.

Besides the questionable legitimacy of this rumour, I have good reason to believe that Stanley’s number 29 could do a job for Wanderers as a backup, at least.

With Accrington being so close to home for myself, I occasionally wander down to watch the League Two side when Wanderers are away, and I’ve genuinely never seen Kee lose an ariel battle, whilst he is also rarely pushed off the ball.

Boasting a stocky physical build similar to that of Kevin Davies’, despite his lack of height, his physicality takes nothing away from his capability in the air. Now, not for one minute am I comparing the two, but Kee’s low centre of gravity, work rate, strength and eye for goal could all be a valuable asset to any football league club, even us.

However, as a gem who seems quite content in remaining below the radar, I’m relatively confident that Kee will remain a Stanley player, and if not, League One will be the most likely of destinations for the local lad.

Despite the unlikeliness of Kee making the move across Lancashire, he couldn't do any worse than one or two options that haven't pulled their weight up top for us thus far this season.

Nevertheless, we’ll put this one down to comical speculation, but if anything was to ever arise of this, it wouldn’t be the worst thing we could do at this stage.

You’d be welcome at Wanderers as far as I’m concerned Billy, but the potential for an abduction en-route to the Macron makes the move more than unlikely I’m afraid.

I’m sorry. No more Alien jokes. I promise.