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Striker on Strike: Who Does Josh Magennis (4 goals last season) Think He Is?

Absolutely laughable

Blackburn Rovers v Bolton Wanderers - Sky Bet Championship Photo by Andrew Kearns - CameraSport via Getty Images

In the course of footballing history, certain players have gone on strike - mainly to force moves away from their club. Neymar, Pierre van Hooijdonk, William Gallas, Carlos Tevez, Paul Scholes.

All pretty decent footballers.

Add Josh Magennis to that list.

Who? Josh who?

Well, let me educate you. Josh Magennis (28), is a journeyman footballer with seven clubs under his belt. During his storied career, he has played approximately 325 games. In that time, he has scored an astonishing 52 goals. For those without access to Google Calculator, that’s one goal every 6.25 games. One goal every 562.5 minutes.

For those without the sense to think for themselves, that’s a pretty horrific return.

In that time, Magennis has played 44 times for Northern Ireland, smashing home a remarkable six goals. That’s one international goal every 7.33 games. A worse record than his pathetic club return. Bear in mind that these goals have come against San Marino (ranked 211st in the world), Greece, Germany (ok you can have that one), Belarus and Estonia then perhaps Magennis’ slightly inflated opinion of his own talent comes into question.

During his club career, this oh-so-in-demand striker (who rarely scores), has played in some wonderful leagues. A season in League Two, eight in the Scottish Premiership - don’t laugh but in 2013-14 he played 13 games for St Mirren, scoring precisely ZERO goals.

Two years in League One with Charlton Athletic delivered 20 goals - almost 40% of his career total, don’t forget - before a £200,000 move to Bolton Wanderers last summer which, as we all know, yielded an incredible return of four goals in 42 appearances.

For the Whites, desperate for goals, this useless stump delivered us a superb return of £50,000 per league goal. That’s one every 10.5 games, or one every 945 minutes which is not a million miles off double his career average. Fucking marvellous.

Interestingly, he scored four in his first six, which was great. Want to guess how many he scored in his next 36 games?

ZERO.

So, the cheeky bastard has gone on strike to force a move away.

Why?

Who does he think he is?

I know who he is. He’s a shithouse.