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Bolton Wanderers 0 v 5 Ipswich Town - Five Things

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Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Middlesbrough v Bolton Wanderers - Riverside Stadium Photo by Anna Gowthorpe - PA Images/PA Images via Getty Images

A tough day at the office for Bolton Wanderers, but it wasn’t without elements of positivity.

Read on, dear readers:

1 - Remi Matthews

It’s a shame that he’ll forever be tarnished (in my eyes) by association with the absolute shithouse losers of last season who chose to go on strike rather than play a game for Bolton Wanderers because it means that I cannot in all good conscience give him the credit he deserves for that performance.

What I’ll say is that Ipswich Town absolutely peppered our goal throughout the game and without Matthews it would’ve been much, much worse.

It’s just sad that he’ll always be one of ‘them’ and not one of us.

2 - Jason Lowe and Luke Murphy

Again, both part of the weak shithouse mob from last year but, according to some ‘at least they stuck around’.

Well, on the basis of that performance then they needn’t have bothered.

Lowe gets a little bit of a break due to him playing at centre-half but Murphy was as poor as he was last season. I would hope, as soon as we can, that better players are brought in to replace them both.

3 - Another Inspirational Performance

Yeah we lost five nil but I really couldn’t give a shit.

I haven’t left a Wanderers game feeling that upbeat since THAT Nottingham Forest game. Due to a family holiday this was my first game of the season and so cannot attest to the post-Coventry City atmosphere but I thought the fans were tremendous in backing the lads.

I really enjoyed the game for what it was and hope that the lads are not too demoralised from the result because they have absolutely nothing to feel about whatsoever.

4 - The North Stand

I’m an East Stand boy. I’ve sat there from day one and wasn’t really that interested in going anywhere else.

Given the shit going on at the club and given the fact that my usual match-going partners are all on flippin’ holiday I attended the game alone and chose to shake things up a bit and sit in the North Stand instead.

Choosing a seat on the back row, I took my place before the game and then enjoyed an absolute education in the following 90 minutes throughout the wonderful world of the English language - learning many new words, many of which began with F.

However, that was not my only takeaway.

What a state. The ground is looking REALLY shabby and I hope that somewhere down the line the new owners will take a look at this and give the old girl some much-needed TLC.

5 - Football Ventures

Get a fucking move on, for fuck’s sake.