Betting on Bolton

Writing a betting column when your team is on the verge of extinction and the only tip you could possibly give to our expectant punters would be to back the opposition on the -2 and -3 handicap markets, back their best striker to score at least a brace and back us to lose to nil is a thankless and frankly soul destroying job, one that I really wasn’t up to doing, physically or emotionally.

These weren’t too far removed from last season’s tips in all honesty but nonetheless it would’ve been crass to do so as the very existence of our club lay in the balance for months and excruciating months on end.

As I no longer bet myself this column may be tough on that level too. Like a newly teetotal getting a job as a wine company marketing manager or someone partaking in sober October in the middle of the Oktoberfest in Munich.

Anyway, on with the column.

As we are no doubt once again the greatest team the world has ever seen then I’m going all positive, like one of those crazy-ass evangelical priests from Alabama or Mississippi.

Praise be to Dennis Politic (no Christian-faith mocking intended), ye of the dazzling feet and the repeated halfway line shots. Deadly Dennis can be backed at 13/2 to hit the ball into the Rotherham net anytime. A mighty fine option y’all.

Rejoice and give thanks to Ali Crawford. Our Scottish ginger ninja. He can swat away the pestilence of Yorkshire dwellers Rotherham and burst their bubble at 10/1 to score anytime.

No idea in all honesty as I write this if either of these start but Romanian Dennis surely deserves to after his swashbuckling display in the draw with Bradford last time out. As we haven’t scored for ten games in the league, Skybet are being understandably generous with their odds on us scoring and also therefore the odds on our players to score. Wait for team news and whoever we go with up front from Chris O’Grady or Daryl Murphy will be 9/1 to score the first goal. Worth a few quid for me.

For us to score at least one goal as a team is 4/7. Something to perm into an accumulator perhaps as I refuse to believe we won’t trouble the scorers this afternoon under Hillcroft’s brand new attacking mindset.

I’m not sure I completely believe it myself but I’m going to tell you to back us to win as we ride the crest of one almighty wave of optimism as the Bolton born owners, board, manager, assistant manager, captain and Bolton born kit man and tea lady roll into town with pride bursting out of their Bolton born hearts. 2-1 is a whopping 18/1. Back it and if it wins then send me a slice of the money. Only fair.

I think Freddie Ladapo will score for them. Because I really like saying his name. It’s cool. He’s half decent at this level, scoring two this season already. And as we haven’t kept a clean sheet since 1976. Except Coventry, obviously.

He is 6/4 to score anytime and 7/2 for the first goal.

So there we have it. Bolton are back. Betting on Bolton is back. We are Keith Hill’s barmy army and we can stay up!

Onwards and upwards, COYWM!!!!