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I was going to just post a photo of a massive turd (Zat Knight?) when asked to contribute to this Review of 2013, but thought I'd rise above such immature ideas.
Yep you read that right:
1. Best goal? -
Would have to say Chris Eagles last minute scuffer at home to Blackburn. That was quality both in terms of how shit it was, and what it meant to everyone.
I love it when a shit goal goes in. A shot that hits three players and crosses the line. Brilliant. Not into your 40 yard screamers me.
I prefer goals that I could have scored.
2. Best goal you've celebrated? -
Do you mean in terms of getting excited and pumped for a goal that we scored? Man, I don't know. Hard one (that's what she said).
I think I'll have to say Eagles' last minute winner against Blackburn Rovers at the Reebok back last year. That was old-school in terms of jumping around like a maniac.
Alway fun to beat those chicken farmers, too.
3. Best signing? -
Probably Craig Dawson on loan from West Brom. His signing was the key to our second-half season revival after Christmas and should have been our no.1 target this summer rather than spending all our time chasing after a certain Scouse midfielder.
I would have said Jay Spearing but he's been here about 15 months and been pretty atrocious for 12 of them.
4. Best result / game?
Best result was beating Blackburn as I've already said (three times). I love beating them.
Best game was perhaps the Hull City home one where we scored three times in ten minutes amidst our late-season run of form. We were unstoppable in that ten minutes, whereas for the large part we've just been 'stoppable'. If we could maybe play that way every week instead of once a year then things would be rosier at the Reebok.
5. Best save?
Oh man no idea.
Probably the Tesco Meal Deal. All-day breakfast sandwich, packet of blue Doritos (best flavour) and a bottle of fresh orange for £2.50 instead of £3.25 when bought separately. Great saving.
Think it's gone up since, though.
6. Moment of Madness?
And here's his mistake for the second. What's with pointing in one direction and passing in the other? http://t.co/5BwfyFXO2e
— Mark Yesilevskiy (@MarkWhyy) January 2, 2014
7. Moment of genius?
When we played Blackpool and Michael Chopra went down injured near where I sit.
A trainer came on and brought him a drink and quick as a flash I said 'What's in there Chopra? Gravy?'
You had to be there really.
8. Unsung hero?
Erm, none of them really.
Maybe Stu Holden for giving me a little bit of hope that we might one day have a competent midfielder playing for the club. Not really an unsung hero more of someone who we've largely forgotten about.
I'll stick to the rules though and say Zat Knight. Without him we'd have fuck all to talk about.
9. Funniest moment?
Probably the introduction of the half-time entertainment in partnership with Kia. Either the catch or the kick, absolutely brilliant.
I've never seen anything so pathetic be so funny....well apart from Zat Knight.
10. Describe the past year in a word?
Forgettable.
I only said that because I think 'dog shit' is two words.
11. What does 2014 hold for Bolton Wanderers?
Misery, heartache and despair. The usual, really.
I hope it brings positive change in whatever form. Things have been dire for some time now, and it's really becoming a chore to make the effort to watch dull and uninspiring football such as that we put out.
12. Is Dougie Freedman the right man?
No.
I don't know who is, though.